The Power of Relationship

Isn't it an amazing thought that you will NEVER
stop learning until the moment you hit the decks,
leave your body, die.....

Gary Zukav calls life 'Earth School'. Earth School
is the place where you come to learn to be YOU.
Earth School is the place where your 'soul'
comes to evolve... to grow.. and to..
offer the world the essence of YOU.

I don't know about you, but in my experience life continues to
present an endless streams of occasions to
experiment, explore and reap powerful lessons .

And sometimes they hurt and sometimes
that hurt is but an emotional and spiritual
growing pain.. which evolves into a lovely
gift...

The Gift of Relationship

2007 presented me with an opportunity to grow
through a short lived but deeply revealing
intimate relationship that 'began' just before my
55th birthday while I was in St Lucia...

It was a birthday present of a different
nature..and as I unwrapped it slowly I discovered
that whilst it was indeed a great present, it
wasn't the present I thought I wanted.

It was the one I needed.

And now it's January again and I'm not in St
Lucia, I'm here in Hampton, London getting ready
to assist on an amazing personal power weekend
for teenagers.

And in four weeks it's my birthday again... just
before I fly off to Atlanta for a month to stay
with my new business partner and her kids and do
some heavy duty creating..

And what prompted me to be sitting here now
writing this is something someone said to me in
an email I received this morning, sending me off
on a trail to write about relating and my
experiences.

Opening out..

2007 was the year I opened and closed; I was
vulnerable and shielded, and carried away and
dropped to and from a great height by a romantic
whirlwind

It triggered some immense shifts in me both
emotionally, spiritually and in my learnings
about the value of relationship (in whatever form
it appears to us) when we are able to unpick
the lessons.

My sense about any relationship is that it
always was in the flow and that it never ends

...no beginning ...no end...

I say it begun in St Lucia but did it really?

Relationship Healing and Empowerment holiday in St Lucia

September 19-28

for girls over forty
US PRESS welcome

click the picture below

I don't know when it began....but, if you
suspect, as I do, that the universe is a quantum
timeless continuum of experience... it
didn’t begin... it formed, emerged, appeared..

I could say that it was because I posted
something on an NLP discussion list that someone
suggested I go visit this man's site because he
had done some stuff that I might find interesting..

Maybe it began when I signed up for his newsletter or
when my autoresponder replied to an edition of
that newsletter - announcing I was in St Lucia
prompting a subsequent one line hello from him
- the first of a voluminous e-mail exchange..?

I was following my passion, writing to lists sharing
and reading about things that stirred, excited
and fascinated me...

Or was it that his current girlfriend was there
when my autoresponder mail arrived and encouraged
him to go check me out..for a potential business
partnership? In fact that was the way he
first approached me 'telling me he was planning
to come to England to do a workshop something
together on relating.

The Meaning Of The Law of Attraction....

Was it because I'd written out an attraction
plan for my 'perfect soulmate' that I had
synchronistically attracted what appeared to
match what I thought I wanted?

Was it that he had dreamed of meeting a peer
who understood what he was talking about
when he spoke of models and levels and with
whom he could travel the world giving workshops?

Or was it a combination of a zillion different
things... in both of us and in the people around
us.... that created it..?

I believe that, like any so called 'event', it isn't
so much a static time-able event as a collection
of actions, thoughts and energy vibrations
that collided and colluded to create
this experience...

Consider an intimate relationship you are or
have been in..

When did it begin? The day you met? No! I don't
believe it did. How did you both come to be at
that place at exactly the same moment that you
met? What triggered that?

As you explore by continuing to ask 'what
triggered that?' you will discover an endless
and timeless web of connections…

And now, even if you are no longer together, you
are still linked... like blood brothers who cut their
arms to intermingle their blood.... the very engaging in this
particular experience with that person has
affected your system and changed your life forever,
as you have theirs, maybe in major ways...

whether it lasted for years and years or a moment
or few

A healing relationship workshop/holiday/retreat for older women
in St Lucia September 19-28 2008

'Endings' - from two to one to two again..

When a relationship 'ends' .... and by that I
mean when one person tells the other, or both
agree that they no longer wish to continue the
intimacy of their relationship, when they are no
longer a ‘couple’, a twosome, an item
It appears as if that's it. We broke up, we
split, we separated...

During the time we are together it's like
we're weaving what I call 'energetic ties'
-little webs generated and hooked
on and from different parts of each of us... and
when we separate we dissolve some of the
ties... and sometimes this feels like
absolutely the right thing to do
and sometimes it doesn't..

We might choose to cut off at one level, because it's too painful
to stay around - we don't talk, we don't
see each other, we keep our distance. But
there are deeper ties that bind us, sometimes
we feel 'hooked' or 'addicted' to this person
and their not being there feels like we've had
part of our skin rubbed off or lost something that
we felt was part of us..

And sometimes we just can't let go...and we
create the illusion of reformed ties even as they are
dissolving, hoping to revive it.... and
sometimes we do...and sometimes we aren't meant
to...

What triggers the dissolution of ties in relationship?

Maybe this person found someone else, or maybe
you did..

Perhaps this person outgrew you or you
them?

Maybe this person changed considerably
from how they appeared to you through the
the first flush and subsequent rush of love ?

Or was it that you ‘changed’, evolved, shifted, wanted
different things……

And was it maybe that you never agreed what
you wanted living instead under the assumption that
because you are together they ‘should’ or ‘ought to’
live up to some Rules you have or had about
relating?

You know your own answer to this...and you may
have started to get a consciousness awareness of
it already...and maybe you're sensing that..

relationship is NOT a just a Happy Pill!

And that doesn't mean that being in relationship
doesn't bring moments of great bliss...

Of course it does...

AND such is the rhythm of life that every high
has a corresponding low ...and the keel and the
pulse of the rhythm may be regular or not...
it may peak and trough in excess or it
may gently lap, giving no great highs
but no great lows either... jogging along..

Each relationship has its own rhythm..

You've probably heard those couples who've been
together for a long time saying things like
'we've had our ups and downs' in a relatively
relaxed way. You can be certain that some of those
'ups or downs' felt, at the time, more like tsunamis,
hurricanes or earthquakes than minor blips.

Don't kid yourself that when intimate
relationship 'officially' ends... it is in fact
ended. It has and it hasn't. You will never be
the same again. The interaction has
added to and swirled the cauldron of
your experience and changed the course of your
life.

You cannot not be affected by everyone you
encounter including those that you have met in
virtuality and those who are connected to
everyone you know…

Relationship isn't a thing that you get or have
or are in.

It's a name given to an experience of
interaction between people..It's a 'thing'
word that tries to quantify an ongoing
'doing/being' activity.

Because of the work I do, I encounter a lot of
people who want to 'be in, have a relationship'.
And as I dig down deeper I see reflections of
my own beliefs about relating.. for I am not
fully immune to some of the deeper seated
thought viruses about 'relationship'
to the thought viruses of what relationship is.

And it's interesting to dig behind the scenes
and discover what deep seated beliefs
we hold about what relationship will
'give us' or what it is meant to be.

Fact is... intimate relationships don't come
with a goal, a reward or a medal.. they aren't
meant to save you or protect you or shore
you up, although they often appear to do just that.

And my suspicion is that many of us have been trained to believe
that this is exactly what ‘they’ are meant to do,
offer, provide.

What if instead of being in or having a relationship
we were just 'having the experience of relating'

IMO, intimate relating isn't MEAN'T to do anything other than
that be what it is …..the interaction between
two people which offers you a marvellous
opportunity to reveal, through intimacy, your
deepest self.

A friend wrote me this today... It echoes
something that I've found to be true of relationship

"... as people enter a sacred place in our
lives, they get more details. . . more
vulnerability. Hence, the people closest to us
can hurt us emotionally more than those who are
not so close. . ."

Relationship - the ultimate cleanse?

I think that intimate relating is the arena
where you soul gets to burn off the icky bits.

It's the place where, because of the frequency
and often proximity that often comes with
intimate long term relating, you will be
revealed even if you think you aren't!.

Icky bits are masks, pretences, fakery…aka…
the stuff that we ALL, including me, do every day
to present ourselves to the world...

We shore up, cover, disguise our deepest
truest self because we're all scared of getting
hurt. But what is getting hurt?

I think when we feel what we label as
emotional pain, we should see it as a signpost,
an indicator, a billboard flashing like the red
light that comes on when a battery that's is losing its power...
and screaming...

Alert! "This is a weak point in you.. go inside
and find out how to heal it.. "

And sometimes, instead of healing, we end up
sealing.

We seal up the entrance We close down. We erect
some barrier so that we can't be hurt again

And we retreat once more behind the
illusory safety of our mask...

The transparent mask

When I was 17 I was a ‘babe’. I used to go to
dances [aka clubbing] and sit on the side with what I thought
was a totally cool exterior. Now I recognise
it for what it was and still is occasionally -
a mask I use to protect my deepest
self.. the part of me that I am ashamed of, fear
being revealed, don’t want others to see…

All of which is the result of learning somewhere, through
time that certain of my behaviours , thoughts and dreams
weren’t 'appropriate' and would not be appreciated,
desired or approved of by that nameless mass
we call ‘other people’ or ‘people’.

So I’d sit here at this dance, dressed up, made up
and closed up.. and inside my head I’d be saying
‘no one is going to know that I want to be asked
to dance’.

And I was so cool to not be desperate that I turned from a desirable,
bubbly, funloving babe into the Ice Queen.

So it's no surprise now that no one asked me to dance.

It’s comical to realise now how in my attempts to
look cool I showed up on the outside as a cold bitch.

I understand now how a guy would have looked at me and
find any desire immediately erased by the terrifying
thought of approaching and, worse still, being rejected by the
'bitch'!!! Doh!

The green light I so wanted to show was overridden by
the red light I’d learned to turn on to hide me and
gain the approval of those who counted in my life at
that time..

When we retreat behind our masks... when we try
to create a false exterior to someone in the hope
that we’ll be more what they want...we deny
who we really are and offer the world a sample
of who we are not..

And like that we force ourselves to live our lives
constantly wary, being protective of ourselves
and the more we do that, the less we open out...
to reveal the deepest parts of ourselves.. the
'parts' we're ashamed of, fearful of, dislike in
ourselves..as well as the parts we love, adore
and cherish...

We try so damned hard NOT to be human
and here we are spirits in an animal body.

As my mentor once remarked..... "You have to
be able to burp, piss, fart and shit in front of them
with ease.. "

And if you find that offensive, then go inside
and notice what part of you isn't accepting
the stark reality of the animal nature that we all share...

AND it is only when we reveal what, in our opinion, is
our worst as well as our best that we are truly
at our best...

And we might as well get naked because
no matter what we think we're showing to the
world - as Freud so aptly said and I am wont to
repeat often ...

"You leak the truth from every pore"

And it's a very scary place to be ...as I
discovered.

How often do you wonder to yourself, as I know I
do, 'how I can ever reveal THAT to anyone because
if they know THAT about me they won't like or
love me'

I suspect everyone does it to varying degrees...

And all of that 'wondering' is just an illusion created
by you judging yourself according to someone
else's Rules and finding yourself wanting.

Who said so? Whose Rules are they anyway?

Everything we are ashamed of fear or dislike in
and about ourselves is categorised according to
the Rules.

Every one of us has had the Rules and Stories of
our culture, religion, family, race installed in
us like time release pills..

And we subscribe to and judge
ourselves and others according to these rules.

And so many of these 'rules' are just plain
bullsh*t.

I've done a lot of studying in my time not just
in books and courses, but as I go through my
life. People and what makes them tick are endless
fascinations for me.

And relationship is the ground where we
can begin the path to getting totally naked
in the presence of another.

And it's NOT easy....

And lately it's all started to come together and
I can see the patterns more clearly..

Patterns of Relating - a meaty feast of
exploration

It took a powerful intimate relating
experience to trigger a deeper inquiry into
myself...looking honestly at my patterns,
watching them run still, noticing my habits,
noticing what rules are running my life..
noticing what limits me..and drives me...

And that led me to studying the Enneagram. This is
a fascinating and powerful tool IMO that works on
many levels where you can go as deep as you
choose..And it is this model coupled with NLP patterned
behaviour models that will form the basic science
behind a new learning and relationship network that we're
creating.

www.eRelating.com

I think ...

"The Enneagram is the New Astrology"

IMO it's truer than Astrology and if you
think Myers Briggs is a good aid to relating
this offers much more...and it blends
so well with all the other systems..

The Enneagram is fascinating because it has
so many layers and differentiations..and
permutations... that everyone finds a unique place
for themselves... in the structure of the model..

On the surface, pop level it appears to be a
personality typing system that has been
scientifically proven to co relate to
psychological research into standard sets of
human behaviour patterns.

In other words, this stuff really mirrors you
so much so that you will recognise yourself in one or more of the
types.

It's the kind of information that makes
you go 'Oh this is sooooo me' or 'Omigod that explains
why Sara or Charlie are they way they are!

It gives you a framework within
which to become aware of your patterns and if things
aren’t working to begin to do something else..

It also shows you how within each type of
patterned behaviour there is a unique essence
that each type is capable of bringing to the world..

We're talking things like joy, serenity, peace...
bit picture things that we all want...and have
to offer in our own way..

More info on the Enneagram here..

Somehow when people get into this stuff they
start to feel the beginnings of compassion for
themselves... and that leads to feeling compassion
for others...

It has something to do with realising that it
isn't just you or they that run these patterns
They're universal...

And if you don't believe me 'suck it and see'
with our mini personality type assessment...

Take our free Enneagram assessment here

The 9 Enneagram Types represent different
collections of behaviours that people have
learned to do in response to what went on around
them as they were growing up.

We are at our most vulnerable at this time..
because our system is wide open to learning, with
little data to compare and judge what comes in.
So it all gets in.

Behavioural Rewarding System

The whole social system we live in is based
on an education system developed first
by the Prussians to train soldiers and then
adopted in the industrial revolution as a
model to churn out compliant people who
would willingly work in boring mundane
repetitive factory jobs.

We've all been subjected to this...

As a child we learned to do what rewarded us..
what gave us that good feeling [our system in
homeostasis, physical comfort].

We learn by call and response. We do something
they respond and we feel good or not.

We learn to distinguish which behaviours are
linked to generating that feel good sensation.

We developed strategies that result in feel good.

And these behaviours are pretty standard.

Depending on what we were rewarded for

We learn to be perfect, to give lots of love, to
succeed, to be different, to seek knowledge, to
question everything, to be bright and bubbly, to
take control or to keep the peace.

And then we spend our lives being like this..
which is what the Enneagram typing system defines..
and then opens for exploration...

So as I processed and felt through this
relationship in light of this information, all
kinds of awarenesses came up and I began
to make sense of it..

The Dance of the Enneagram

He was an Enneagram One and I a Seven. He's a
perfectionist and prone to self and other
criticism, big time He believes he's the only one
who can do it right. I'm an optimist and an
options merchant and have a hard time seeing
things through. I'm laid back and joke about the
most serious of things. and so much more.. and

His strongest driver is self preservation and
mine are social and intimate connection....

more ....after this short commercial break ;-)

PERSONAL EMPOWERMENT WEEKEND with PETA - London
Secrets of Attraction Weekend - Feb 1-3, Oct 18-19

ARTICLE ON THE ENNEAGRAM

You can read more about the
Enneagram and relationship here

INTERVIEWEES WANTED - by telephone

Do you know your type, and use the Enneagram
Would you like to be interviewed by me for
an educational series 'The Enneagram Interviews'
Please contact me here if you do.. and it helps to put
'Enneagram' in the subject box...

Mutual Attractions and Patterns

We were initially attracted by shared threads in our
work , teaching about relationship with a
fanciful mutual dream to travel the world and run
seminars... he taught workshops and did coaching
too... AND instead we brought out some very
interesting stuff in each other.

And anyone who teaches knows that we do it
because we want to learn...

We both projected romantically. He warned me
that he did this and I ignored it because I did
it too and anyway it felt sooooooooo good.

Like some deep riveted pattern, we started
to create our mutual fantasy life in our own
projections and in our shared ones...before
we'd even met.

There were things about me that annoyed him
and things about him that irritated me.. but they
pulsed out of obvious awareness behind the veil of desire..

We wrote and talked intensively and extensively
about ourselves relationship, our work, what we
felt about life and more..

We are both articulate, creative and have a
capacity to flow words endlessly... and we shared
common backgrounds in the things we'd studied..
AND also had many differences..

And somewhere quite early on we both slipped
into the rose coloured more alive than ever
experience of desire... for each other..

We even dared to write about it, before we met,
in a magazine where I write regularly on
'relationship in general'.

And we met and it was bliss....encapsulated in a
dream setting where it was as if the whole world
fell away. I think that's what honeymoons are
meant to be!! That's what we called it..

And then it wasn't...

It ended seemingly at his instigation…
and as I slowly began to process what had happened..
I found myself putting together the pieces with the help
of someone who had been in relationship with the
same man... and had fallen deeply...

In what I see as amazing synchronicity, he
connected us for the purpose of promoting his
workshops and instead we
developed a relationship that went beyond him...

We created a relatinship where we became great friends helping each other
heal and during our intensive connection, we
realised that we make a great team. And now we
are working together to develop the
relating/learning network she had dreamed up over
a year ago...

Patterns Rule!

I later explored him and his patterns and me and mine
and how the two clashed and what I did in
response to certain things... And for me it took
me deeper into the exploration of relationship
and left me with a desire to continue to see each
new relationship as an opportunity to get naked..
more than butt naked... to start to bare my
soul...

He told me recently that it was doomed because he
has this overriding pattern about much younger
women. He's 57 and was, until he met me always
attracted to women who were 15 - 20 years
younger. He was always open about himself
in this way.. and later he told me that I'd
always be too old for him and that this was a
deep seated pattern.

But in the same sentence he admitted that with me he broke the
pattern and he said later, when we were no longer
an 'item' that for a period of time when we were
together the pattern disappeared and it didn't
matter how old I was and it was a totally new
experience for him.

I put him on a pedestal... and compared myself
to him and tipped the balance.... I was curious
about his work and in an intensive seminar
he ran he took it upon himself to actively
dig into me.. and sometimes it felt like he
patronised me.. and I close down because
I didn't feel it was right to air personal
stuff between he and I in a seminar he
was running...

And later slowly as I faced my own stuff
as well as noticing his...

I knew that this was about two people coming
together for a moment of time to play out
something we needed to play out....and jar a few
of the deeply grooved patterns.

There's a piece of prose that passes regularly
around the net, about how we meet people and are
with them for a reason, a season, a lifetime...
and it always has some purpose of which we often
aren't aware that goes beyond making babies...

Healing v Sealing

So here we are desiring, wanting and seeking the
Happy pill that we’ve been sold…

We're led into fairytale relating illusions by
that 'surrender' into a physically heightend state of
arousal which is simply
a biologically driven hormone rush that makes us
feel so good in the presence of someone else that
our desires are stirred and we want sex.

It makes sense that nature would build in something
that makes us feel so good that we go ahead and run the
programme designed into our DNA with the purpose
of continuing the human race.

As Joseph Riggio said "Biology Rules!"

And it's that biological high, the rush, the thrill that
we're driven to pursue..leading us blindly into relationship...

And intimate relationship is much more than that...

It's a mighty powerful experience. It brings
highs and lows. It opens our wounds and it salves
them. As we rub up against another intimately we
reveal parts of ourselves not just to them, but
to ourselves and often it is the fire in which we get to
purge ourselves..

and we have to be prepared to enter the fire
again.. to take the leap into the adventure of
intimate relating... and reveal some more of who
you are...

if we choose..

I choose...

How about you?

with love
peta

www.findtheloveyouwant.com - Relationship Retreat, healing, exploring, enjoying.. with women of a certain age in St Lucia Sept 19-28 2008

www.attractionacademy.com - Flirting Weekends, Secrets of Attraction Weekend, Singles Relationship Coaching with Peta, Free life coaching e-course

www.erelating.com

You can contact me by email here...please do if you
have anything you want to share....

How to get fit and healthy and love every moment

Last April, round about now time, I was asked to do 4 talks over 4 days on Attraction and Relationship at London's biggest wellness event 'The Vitality Show'. Even though I knew this show was prestigious and being asked was an honour I was wondering it it was worth it. Now I realise just how perfect it was for me.

Despite my occasional questioning I knew that there was a reason I was there and I went with the flow

The topic of my talk was 'Attracting Your Perfect Relationship' and I was promoting an Attract Your Perfect Relationship telephone course. I had just done some certification training with a group of people I'd grown very close to and in one week's time I was due to fly out to Texas for a retreat which was the finale of the course run by Perfect Customers Inc.

The great benefit of being at the show over four days was that I got to immerse myself in all the offerings, one of which was having my blood microscoped. I'm a sucker for anything that monitors my health and well being and this was just one more exploration. My system was telling me to check myself out. I was about 18lbs overweight after spending two years flying out to various seminars and gatherings and I knew it was time to say NO MORE.

At the time I was and still am gestating, amongst a few others, a book for women of my age - a 'bible' - and I dare use that name - to guide them through those challenging yet ultimately highly creative and potentially very resourceful years.

I knew I wanted to write about ageing beautifully, finding love after fifty, building relationship, accepting menopause, how to feel good at fifty, and I knew that as always I'd have to walk my talk if I was going to write from the heart.

I decided to join the gym and get myself fit and healthy and looking good. Instead of saying I want to lose weight or get thin, I kept telling myself 'I am getting fit and and healthy and looking good' even though I wasn't YET in a place where I felt comfortable about my levels of fitness, health, bodyshape and posture.

I monitored my language and how I phrased things because words are neurotransmitters that affect our neurology leaving it in a state of being open or closed, suppressed or relaxed, contracted or expanded or in neurological terms 'excitatory' or 'inhibitory'.

It's vital for us to be aware of how we language everyday, both to ourselves and others and to monitor how we lead ourselves in and out of open and closed and learn to stay more open.

The gym is probably the best in the area, but I joined because it happened to be ten minutes stroll across a field from my home and it has a beautiful spa. I had my session with a private trainer, got my workout program and three times a week or so I'd wander down and plod onto the treadmill, wishing there wasn't so much noise of machines and cursing the fancily designed but unergonomic pool directly below emitting chlorine gas into the gym and wishing they'd turn off the music and getting pissed with the challenges of wearing the ipod and taking care not to drop it and generally not enjoying thus form of exercise at all. The weight lifting was OK, because I like the feel of weight pulling but I didn't like the gym. For one thing it was so damned solitary.

I forced myself to go and found every excuse NOT to.

One day after a particularly irritating workout, I found myself picking up the class list. I'm not a classes person because they are generally full of too many steps that I can't follow because I like slow and they're frenetic fast and I prefer silence to music that is alien to my tastes. I noticed that there were a lot of yoga classes.

Find the Love You Want - in paradise, workshops, spa treatments, yoga September 19-28 2008 Marigot Bay St Lucia

And then I got it, it all fell into place, the knowing of what was perfect for me. I'd done yoga for two years 20 years ago at the very spiritual Sivananda Divanda Centre which was home to a group of yogis, their kids and such and they lived a yogic life. They even served food and taught yogic cookery. I loved that place and I loved yoga even more. And I'd stopped when I moved out of the area and resisted yoga in gyms after a terrible yoga exercise class at the new gym I belonged to which had dumped the 'spiritual' and focused only on 'exercise'.

This time it was different. Yoga was calling to me loudly and softly and I answered the call. My first yoga class was with Garry, a guy around my age, who'd spent his early yoga years at the very same centre I'd attended. He is now a great mate and does a spot on my seminars. My yoga journey over the last year has been profound.

Now I go to yoga six times a week. I love all my teachers and have formed a fabulous local social group with the girls from yoga and one or two guys too! We have Christmas parties, drink coffee [me mint tea] and hang out after the class and we share our stories and make each other laugh and now yoga is one of the blisses of my life so much so that I arrange meetings and private client sessions around it and tell them so! This is what I learned

• Choosing to do the 'exercise' that resonates with you inside and out and aligns totally with you at your best, is what this is all about.
  
  
• Developing the relationship with yourself and the knowing you have of what is perfect for you will guide you every time

• Being willing to walk away from and say no to what is not will keep you on track

We all know what's right for us and sometimes we don't want to know

That day at the Vitality Show the blood microscopy blew my mind. The lady doing it told me I needed to alkalise and of course wrote out a prescription for the products I'd need. Green drinks, soy sprouts, Caprilenic this and myco this and bio that. I was willing but didn't buy the goods from her because she didn't accept credit cards. As she was doing my blood test she said in passing.

You must go see Peter Pure, the Raw Food chef - he's such a lovely guy. I wandered down the aisles and saw a group of people gathered around two people holding huge boxes with what looked like the yummiest cheesecake ever. My nose pulled me to the front of the stall. The first taste of that cake as I listened to him talk about the ingredients and all the things that weren't in it had me captured. Raw food appeared to be the answer to the level of vitality I wanted.

Find the Love You Want - in paradise, workshops, spa treatments, yoga September 19-28 2008 Marigot Bay St Lucia

I went home knowing that this was an opportunity to change my life. And then I remembered that one of the women on the Strategic Attraction Coaching program was a raw food chef. Brooke Peterson. It turns out she was the area sales director for the very product this lady had recommended to me. Innerlight Greens. I sent her a quick email and one phone call later and a stream of enthusiasm and energy that matched my own Brooke had got my order taken and promised for delivery at the retreat.

So many significant events swirling together to generate a big shift in me and all I was doing was following my nose, with a knowing of how I didn't want to be and even more of a desire for what I wanted and always open to having the way appear to me without having to do too much.

A few days later I flew into Houston for the retreat. During the retreat I started the drinks and to this day I have not gone one day without drinking two [and at least one] bottles of green drinks. This for me is a record to stick to something for so long. But I wasn't sticking to it. It was right for me . No need of sticking or trying or doing grudgingly. I LIKED THIS..

When I got back from Houston I went on a one day gourmet raw food party with Peter Pure, bought all the equipment and started to eat a lot more raw food and drink the green drinks and in a few short months I lost 18 lbs not because I was trying to get slim, but because I wanted to get healthy and I'd found a way that worked for me. In the same way Yoga was perfect for me because I love it. I love everything about it and I love how my body feels when I am in it and after.

And now after a year peppered with synchronicities, I'm about to do the Vitality Show again and two weeks after that I fly out to the States to spend a week beside a lake all alone with a man I manifested and whose qualities match virtually everything on my Strategic Relationship Attraction Plan for the perfect relationship with a man.

I shall be taking my perfect green drinks and my my yoga mat with me and will be heading for Wholefoods in New York to buy the perfect foods for me. before I fly out to Atlanta

Attracting the perfect relationship with myself s what has allowed me to find the right way of eating for me and attract the right kind of man for me. And nothing is set in stone. I am not a na zi about my food and right in the beginning decided to 'eat more raw' and 'drink the greens' and when I go out to eat what there is to eat and know I will always be able to return to balance. Yesterday after a couple of weekends away and lots of restaurant and luscious dinner party food, I'm 4 lbs over what I like myself to be.. so instead of angsting. I just remembered yoga and green drinks... more raw less not... and like that it all works out perfectly.

Find the Love You Want - in paradise, workshops, spa treatments, yoga September 19-28 2008 Marigot Bay St Lucia

During the retreat in Texas I explored what makes me tick and came up with a phrase that I still like I'm wickedly provoking potential Mine - Yours - Friends - Clients and my Lover's. My life is turning inside out, I am losing some avenues of income and completely realising that this is to make way for new. I feel myself moving out of running Pulling Power Weekends which have been so popular over the last ten years and into more programs for women of my age.

I have created an amazing week, a premium event, for a select group of ten women over 40 who want to tune up their relationship readiness in paradise. The first program, Find the Love You Want - in paradise, takes place in my friends newly built resort in Marigot Bay,St Lucia on September 14- 21.

This wonderful man told me that the most beautiful thing about falling in love is that the more we fall in love with ourselves the more we are able to fall in love with another and the more we fall in love with another the more we fall in love with ourselves...

I agree. All personal evolution and growth begins with loving ourselves enough to want to do everything to please ourselves in a way that's perfect for us and like that we naturally shine our light on others.

big smiles
peta
Find the Love You Want - in Paradise - Join us in St Lucia Sept 19-28 2008

Watch out! You're being 'stylishly' manipulated

A freelance woman journalist called me last week to get my help in finding 'subjects' 'case histories' for an article she'd had commissioned by a well known women's magazine, aimed at women over forty but probably nearer 50 and over.

The article was about 10 women who'd experienced some change in their life this year... and how it had happened. She wanted to do a story on someone who'd used my services and had some kind of change...I offered her two women who'd been on my courses and who'd had pretty powerful awakenings.

One was a 53 yer old woman - let's call her Viv - who attended the Pulling Power course and then went on to do the MythoSelf weekend I run twice a year [a more intensive personal development weekend that is designed to help people who get there is more to life and who are ready to take that next step into becoming who they truly are]. She's woken up from a dark patch when she was 17 stone... now lost most of it..and is ready to begin a new adventure... she definitely had some great personal shifts as a result of attending my course.

The other was a 54 year old woman - whom I'll call Sally - who'd been on my 'How to Attract YourPerfect Relationship' course and was now experiencing all kinds of synchronicities and opportunities in her life including attracting very different men. She'd also been inspired by the course to take off to the States and follow her dream of becoming a screenplay writer writing a story of her dating adventures.

The journalist, who is herself in her fifties was delighted and told me she'd suggest the case histories to the editor.

Both women were rejected as case histories....I was told the reason was because the first one was 17 stone [sadly the journalist had mis-understood what I said about her having lost most of it] and the second one had been married 3 times.

With all due respect to the journalist who realised what was happening, I was pretty shocked that there appears to be a policy in magazines to feature people who look good.

I've had this happen before... if someone doesn't 'look good' then they dont' want to photograph them. If someone's been married 3 times it's too many.

She's just got had the great realisation about who she was choosing to attract and why it wasn't going to be like that again. And yet they were judging her on the fact that she'd been married 3 times.

We're being stylised. The glossies are at it again... which is why I'm still looking for someone to create a magazine like the US winner 'More' for baby boomers and women over forty which features Jamie Lee Curtis on the front cover.. and her comments about why she chose to pose with all her cellulite and more ample figure...in 2002.

She said 'I did it for all those women that I'd been party to making feel less than they were'. She got it. We set up stylised ideals and then convince people that this is how life is... that all women are slim, good looking and pleasing to the eye. We make a cult of celebrity body and we're not it.. and never can be... all we can do is become healthy and make the most of our potential..

Find out here how I lost 18 lbs by alkalising, energising and revitalising my body.

We're perpetuating an image that isn't how most women are. And I know that someone would say well 'they're setting ideas for us to aim to'.. I'm not so sure. I think we're getting just what the magazines are..

a glossed over version of life...

I'd like to see stories about women who are successful who aren't great looking, but have made the most of who they are... and women who have been married heaps of times and now know better.... this is who we are becoming... more than we were...

How about you?

I specialise in but not exclusively working with women over forty to help them find new direction as they approach the most potent time of their lives.... and it's my aim to help women recognise that they can do anything they want no mattter how they were or have been in the past....

Life doesn't begin at fifty.. it begins every moment you live NOW...

For more information on my personal empowerment coaching sessions check out this link on my website.....

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Full Frontal Ahead...Life begins NOW!

My friend Carol emailed me the other day reminding me it'’s been a year since we last met. Carol and I hooked up when we were both 15 yr old nubile middle class public school girls. We were working the same Saturday job as sales-girls in an up-market trendy shoe shop on the King'’s Road in London SW3. The Kings Road was an '‘in'’ place to work and Carol and I had many wild adventures mostly throughout our teens into our late twenties.…

It was a time of easy and very loose living.. but those deliciously lurid and hilarious details are being stockpiled in cellar of memories.. for my autobiography

I like to think of those times as the '‘decade of extreme decadence'.’ Carol and I drifted apart when I went to live in Portugal with the brilliant but alcoholic bass guitarist from T Rex - He died, I returned to the UK and last saw Carol at her wedding in the late 80'’s. But 3 years ago we discovered by chance that we were living close by.

And we started to hang out again, short emails here, the odd lunch in the pub, And boy did we rock! It was like we were 20 again. One of the things I love about Carol is her icy wit and sharp repartee..and when we get together we spend time looking back on all the wicked things we did and laughing till our bellies ached..it sets us up for a positive discussion about all the great things that are waiting for us NOW

But sometimes people look back for reasons other than to remember the best times!!!

Sometimes people spend far too much time looking back and yearning for all that was not and can'’t ever hope to be and what was and is no more and THAT'’S DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS!!!

It'’s very different from remembering all the good times and re-experiencing those moments of joy, excitement, awe, delight, sheer terror, anticipation, achievement, risks as well as petranquility and tranquillity... and really having a full on embodied experience of how good you feel because when you're like that it's simply delicious and as a Doctor of Philosophy via the School of Life.. I prescribe it to everyone...

Look back, laugh, feel the best of the best times and then get your ass on back to now! Peta

It's so much more fun and healthier and positive than looking back and missing, longing, yearning for, wishing if only, kicking yourself for missed opportunities. THAT SUCKS!

And if you do start to notice un-useful patterns... be nice to yourself and instead of beating yourself up simply say 'okay- I just did that.. I get it..' and let it go. Simple awareness is the first step to dissolving not so useful patterns... and I'’ll talk more in later blogs about how our patterns of the past can act as brakes and how we can turn them into accelerators..

What quite a few people haven't got YET is that the past doesn't exist, can'’t be changed is no more... [it reminds me of the Monty Python parrot sketch. This is parrot is dead, snuffed, gone from this world...' ] There ain'’t no Tardis [Dr Who'’s time machine] to take us back and rearrange time and even if you could.. watch The Butterfly Effect and you'll get how trying to control life's events will always lead to results other than the one'’s you tried to engineer.

If only I'’d...

John was 46, single and a client of mine. He'’d come to see me in the hopes of meeting someone...and as usual when I started to work with John his limiting patterns spilled all over the place.. one of his if only moans was how he wished he'’d gone to university instead of doing accountancy.

I told him.. "you know John, you might have been at uni, met a hot babe and on a way to a date with her been knocked down by a bus and snuffed. You can't predict what would have happened.. so why even waste time.. when there's so much to be doing..."

I had to refocus John to how he is when he'’s at his best.. and get him to look forward to the future and the potential... I call it 'attitude re-education'

Personal Empowerment Coaching with Peta - using the MythoSelf-tm process Click here to find out how I can help you move through this stage of your life and find love with someone new or with the one you'’re with. '‘Peta taught me to flirt with life'– Pam Francis - screenplay writer

It takes time to refocus ourselves on what'’s possible cos it's not what we learned to do mostly...but it'’s absolutely vital for all of us to keep our sights on what can be as we move forward towards the second and most glorious stage of our lives... the one where we consolidate all that we'’ve learned and bring back our unique and rich treasures as an offering to the world that has nurtured us,,

You'’re on the greatest journey of all - start living it to the full now

If you'’re familiar with the Hero'’s Journey or even if you're not... I recommend reading this amazing book by the guy who discovered the themes of world mythology and mapped it onto our current way of living. My favourite book of all time Joseph Campbell'’s Reflections on the Art of Living - edited by Diane K Osbon.

But if you're not yet familiar with the hero's journey and you'’ve seen Star Wars - or haven't yet I recommend you buy the trilogy and watch all 3 episodes for the first time or over again.. you'll have an experience of the heroic journey that runs thru all life.

Fact was George Lucas was screwed. He had this great idea for a film and couldn't piece it together. Then he heard about Joseph Campbell - read his book Hero with a Thousand Faces and hired Campbell as a consultant. Result... one of the all time great movies. Why? Because the structure is the structure of how life works. It's familiar to all of us.. but more of that in a later blog.

Understanding how the structure of the heroic journey maps onto your life will make sense of everything that'’s happened to you so far and will give you a real feeling of hope and excitement about the future...

If you'’re in your late forties, fifty and beyond.. and you'’re getting yearnings or feelings of not having accomplished it all...and you're sensing fluctuations and churnings it's not surprising. There is both a biological and a social change going on in you... and you can relax...becausethis is GREAT NEWS!

Pay attention to those yearnings and rumblings and churnings.. and instead of wishing they weren't recognise them as a sign that you are making your way through another door of changeÂ…to a wonderful world..

In case you haven'’t got it yet.. what we experience at this stage of our life is parallel to going through being a teen again... sometimes we can make it just as painful.. BUT we've got one great advantage... which should make it much easier for us when we get it...Unlike our kids, we'’re coming through this change with years of accumulated experience and wisdom even if we haven'’t accessed it all yet...better believe it.. it's all there waiting to be utilised!!!

Until the age of 20ish.. a child'’s brain hasn't fully formed.. The frontal lobes that are able to extend your awareness to future considerations are immature .They can'’t see a way out WE fifties and upcoming fifties have a fully formed set of frontals which means we can go through the experience with an eye to the future...and lots of hope and positive expectation..

And if it seems chaotic at times.. it's OK... sometimes it's good to do nothing...to sit and let it emerge... to relax and let go of knowing how it will turn out.. You've lived long enough to know for sure that you have to be prepared for anything to happen..... life doesn't always check with our plans before it happens

Now is the time for you...to consider who you are...to tune into and resonate with yourself... alongside your awareness that you are part of a family, an organisation, a neighbourhood all communities and that now is the time for you to take your place as an elder of the tribe..group, community...because you have much to offer to heal this modern day world.

Native American tribes do not believe a person is fully mature until they reach the age of fifty. I LIKE this concept...it fits for me.. how about you!!

I'’m going to be guiding people through the journey on the passage into the second part of your life...Gail Sheehy calls women over fifty 'seasoned women'. Her book Sex and the Seasoned Woman is a great read for seasoned women and for seasoned men who want to understand older women!

Because men approaching and into their fifties are as nicely spiced and seasoned as we ladies. We'’re all seasoned beings.. richly ripe, full of flavour, resourceful lywise...and active and healthy..and reaching the age of fifty is significant - we are past the halfway mark...we are ready to accelerate and get going to begin again...

Find out by clicking here how to have exquisite relationships whether you are single or married… learn the real secrets of creating harmony in every relationship you enter into with Peta in an intimate workshop in London W2 Feb 17th and 18th 2007

This blog is about you and I ... 'the new youth' no longer the rash teenager, or the thrive and strive career seeker..but a softer mellower seasoned adult. It's about new beginnings, about emerging into the last part of your life with a sense of rich potential.. because now is the time for the seasoned ones to come into their own...

If you'’re excited about the enormous possibilities that exist for people when they realise their age is a great asset....I'’ll look forward to conversing here with you and please feel free to leave your comments...

smiles

peta

To find the links to the books I recommended by Joseph Campbell, Gail Sheehy and Star Wars the Trilogy go here...

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

Do older guys all want younger women?

It's not easy to let go... of the way we were... and it's even harder to let go when you were a babe or a hunk... desired for your physical beauty.... and desiring someone as beautiful as you...

My friend Rob is the same age as me, 54. When he and I met we were both 45. We had the hots for each other.. the physical chemistry was definitely there.. but then we were both sorting for the physical...superficial material things... the trophy man and woman.

He told me over dinner recently that he always went for the best looker in the room and he'd decided I was it.. and I loved men with fit bodies, lots of confidence and a great sense of humour.. I even managed to put him into the 'spiritual' category that's so important for me.. because we'd met on a business NLP course where I was assisting..and he was interested in hypnosis... and he was financially sorted!

I was the Flirt Coach babe with the blonde hair down to my ass..the one who'd been on TV.... the one who everyone noticed because I made myself noticeable... I talked a lot and laughed a lot...and was wild and outrageous sometimes by design. And I was sexy as hell... It's not surprising we'd think we were a match... even though I now know how very much we weren't......

At any given moment we could have slipped over the edge of outrageous flirting and before we knew it we'd have spent a night shagging each other rotten.. we may even have continued to meet secretly and had great sex in fancy hotel rooms... sending each other hot texts..and living with our pants on fire.. whilst pretending to our partners otherwise.. but we didn't...

He'd been hurt before and even though there was trouble in't mill as they say... he wasn't going to do to someone else what he'd had done to him.... I was going through some personal shifts and I knew that my long term relationship didn't really fit any more.. but neither of us were about to do anything about it...yet... and I was faithful...

So that moment passed but Rob and I kept in touch once or twice a year a quick email.. until a couple of years ago.. he contacted me...he was separated from his partner.. going back and forth ... being pulled by her and then pulling free.. living in the Caribbean..r he had a fabulous house on the beach... was making a mint but he was lonely, miserable and drinking too heavily and he'd just turned fifty....

He'd had a few women mostly in Miami where he often hung out... all of them considerably younger than him.. late 20's to mid 30's.. and all of them really sexy.... he was indulging in what most men of that age dream of.. having sex with nubile young girls.... because he could! But he hadn't connected with anyone beyond the bedroom.. he was still lonely as hell...

He'd been married fairly young and had two grown up children...that he'd brought up first on his own and then with his long term partner.. and in a way he was ripe;e for what I'll call 'old guy wild oat syndrome'

He's not the only one... a guy I'd connected with on a dating site.. and with whom I've had a few deep conversations.. about relationship.. and who definitely had the potential for a spiritual connection... wrote me honestly that a part of him wanted to do just what Rob had been doing in Miami... he'd been in a long relationship.. gone back and forth with that... and now he'd met me.. and admitted there was much possibility... yet he still had this yearning to live out the 'youth' he never had...

When a man gets married young, perhaps to his first or second real girlfriend... and then he has kids.. he misses out on the 'chase the girl' games that all his contemporaries are playing sometimes into their thirties..for some that's great.. and they never miss it..but for others... hmmm

My mentor Joseph Riggio says 'Biology rules'... and biology which is wound into the very depths of our DNA says... 'get together with someone.. f 888 like rabbits and make babies'... During these early hormonally charged years..testosterone looks for estrogen... everywhere...we're primed to sniff out prime sexual partners... and rut... and many of us do... with many different partners... and the rest who get hitched early... and then stay together until their late forties... or fifties have spent the best part of 30 years with one person..and then when they split... they're suddenly feeling a sense of freedom... and realise...

The oats got sown.. but only in one carefully ploughed field....

And suddenly the long relationship falls by the wayside and he finds himself out on his own.. and he's already more than halfway through his life... it's not surprising that he wants to catch up while he still can......And he thinks he's got to go back and pick up what he missed....

And that's why you see men of this age, newly out of relationships, sniffing around younger women..... and some of them get married to their nubile baby bearing babes...and start a second or sometimes even the first meaningful relationship and a second family....

And some of them don't!!!!! Some of them are looking for someone their own age to grow old together with... whose pace matches theirs..They are looking for companionship, understanding and deep connection [from which often arises very juicy sex]....

My friend Jennie's partner Tom had been single and divorced for five years when he went onto Dating Direct to look for someone to share his life. In fact he nearly missed Jennie... because she'd fallen prey to the 'they say' stories that try to convince women of fifty that all men want younger women....grrrrr

She'd allowed a friend to persuade her that she should put her age as 49..even though she was 52 because according to this friend men don't search for women over fifty...phooey...

In fact Tom had chosen to be matched with women between 50 and 55.. he was 57... If he hadn't have widened his search on what was going to be the last try for him... he wouldn't have found her....

And then there are those single men who've spent fifty years being single.. had relationships here and there.. lots of women and flirted and fooled around to the point that they're tired... all they want now is to have someone to relax with, to soothe their brow and maybe even give them the children they never had...

Like my friend Simon... He's just turned 50 and has been, by his own admission single for fifty years Simon told me earlier this year that he was looking for a wife.... and now he's met someone... she's 36.. It was lust at first sight and now he's talking about marrying her... after only four weeks.. he's so ready to settle down.... and the chances are he'll start a family too...I only pray that he takes some time to explore before he jumps in too quickly...

While some men regress with age others mature...Sandra 56 and a former corporate manager. has just married Alan ...They met in Ibiza whilst she visiting a friend she'd originally met on a dating site and subsequently become friends with.

Alan and Sandra are the same age..Like many people of our age they'd both been married before and evolved through their marriages. When he and Sandra met he was truly ready and willing to settle down and make a new life with her....Finally at this age they've met the one they hope to be their last soulmate....

Alan said to me when we met for the first time 'I liked doing things on my own.. it just took me time to realise I like doing them with Sandra better'. They love that they both come from the same era.. and they love that when they say 'Pink Floyd' they smile and get it... They are both into shamanism.. he had a business making camping equipment and now he's crafting new age teepees...She has exchanged her corporate suits for hippie skirts and willow weaving..They live in Santa Fe [in a hip hippie location] and visit craft events selling their amazing tepees..

They found each other late in life... and that's evidence that sometimes the best things are yet to come...

So in case you're tempted to believe the stories about all men.. think again... and whether you are a man or a woman...the key is to focus on what you want.... not what you think is available.... because that special person IS out there... and the stronger the signal YOU give out of who you REALLY ARE...the more likely you are to attract the one who's a match and fit for that...

When the man I met on the dating site wrote and told me about what a part of him wanted.. I responded with 'you'd better decide what all of you wants because right now you want what I'm not.. and there's no way I want to be with someone who doesn't want who I am totally and absolutely...

Be true to who you are and he or she will appear.. if it is meant to be...and if not it will be because something else utterly delicious has appeared to engage your energy.. and that is your path...

peta

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.

The fabulous journey of life.. daahling

Well it IS fabulous... or fab as we might have said way back in the sixties.....;-) but sometimes it's easy to forget all that... and think about it as a journey... and that being this age is along the same lines of being a teenager.. only very different... because whilst we're both evolving.. and growing... we are doing it with a whole load of wisdom...and the teens are not!!
And if you're having trouble with your teens.. then I know a woman who is doing great work with mums and teens... [more about that in a later blog]

Feeling the Wisdom
I was talking with someone who is much younger than me... who has plans to set up in this field... running courses... not the same as me but different.. and I realised that she thinks she's got it all sewn up.. that she's found the key to perfect happiness...she's cooked, sorted, and yet...she's so NOT... [I do like that slang]... and I realised.... I know more because I've lived more life... not that living longer makes someone wiser... but if along the journey you've learned your lessons and even more powerful..learned from the lessons of others.. then you will be wiser..

and that's one of the blessings of getting older..of moving past the dividing line of half your life... it's that we can claim wisdom.... but if we want to be wise we have to become what we are claiming..... to let go of some of the things we hanker after.... from the past.. that have gone and can never come back.. not how they were... there ain't no Tardis or Time Machine that can do that so why bother... ????

The past is just a concept. The only thing that exists is now.

When we learn to wave goodbye to that and step or rather float.. into the future in our imaginations and see it all happening and then return to here and now and act as if it is all going to turn out for the best.. life gets juicy...

I think that's one of the blessings of having lived a life, sometimes in the very fast lane.... and of being able to let go of wanting anything to be any way other than it is now...

So. how about you....

Are you ready to let go of what was and embrace what's now and maybe new?

To get you gotta let go..

1. Let go of trying to be a babe.. don't compete with younger women whether they're ten years or thirty years younger... It's here baby.. the moment when you can no longer
rely on your looks... to get you what you want..insteat
Start to see the beauty of YOU... the jewel inside...look in the mirror, smile and see your lines turn up into a beautiful portrait of a life well lived.. and still worth living...

2. Let go of competing with how you used to be...i.e. going back into the past, remembering with a whistful sigh and going if only.. this is as bad for you as drinking4 lge G&T's or a 2 bottles of red....
Go ahead and imagine yourself evolved... a wise woman... one who has learned about life, is satisfied and content... and realises her life has been worthwhile.. even in small ways... and sometime smore..

3. Let go of Dieting and Working Out saying things like I want to be thinner, I want to get rid of this fat.. I want to work off a few calories..
Start to say that you're going to Get Fit and Healthy - saying it like that shifts your attitude... and is more useful...

Instead consider taking up things like Yoga or Pilates or one of the gentler more calming martial arts like Tai Chi...swimming...Yoga builds up all your muscles too.. but not just a chosen few.... and as for eating healthier food... that's one of the best things you can do.... IMO [in my opinion of course] I lost 18 lbs and got a lot more energy by drinking the greens...[there's a link to it on the side..]

So what is the journey of life? Find out more in a blog to come....where I'll speak about how to move into the last quarter of your life.. and discover amazing riches...

Recommended Reads
life's journey and words of amazing wisdom on all areas of life.. from a man who died a wise man having followed his journey and bliss...
Reflections on the Art of Living - A Joseph Campbell companion - Edited by Dian K Osbon.
Sex gets better after fifty - Sex and the Seasoned Woman - Gail Sheehy
Letting go and honouring who you are -A Woman's Worth - Marianne Williamson

Baby Boomers demand respect!

A large percentage of the baby-boomer 45+ generation have got plenty of spare cash and like to spend it and that makes us powerful. Ignore us at your peril!

We can make you rich - if you show us the respect we deserve !

We like spending money BUT we are discerning and we've learned a thing or two in our life. Treat us with respect, know our needs and cater to us in a way that works for us and you’ll earn our undying loyalty and our dollars and pounds will be yours.

Turn on Tune in and Rake in our Money!

Sadly, not everyone who is trying to sell to the over fifties has turned on to what we really want ... YET!

This morning awoken by a text arriving at 5.00 am – that’ll teach me to leave the ringer on – I find myself sitting at the computer following a trail that ended with a search on Technorati and Google for keywords for women over fifty.

That's because I offer a life-coaching and relationship mentoring program for women [and men too] from 46 to 64 - culminating with a divinely luxurious personal awakening week in St Lucia - but that's for a later blog. And on my search I found a store website called fifty plus – whose purpose apparently is to sell clothing to people over fifty. To find out how I can help YOU...follow the links on the right hand side of this blog

In my not so humble opinion [IMO], they haven't a clue who their customer is and what they want and I wouldn't buy from them on principle.

Give us the respect our dollar demands!

I won't buy goods from a company who's advertising thermal underwear on a model who is probably not more than 25, with fake tits - one of which is larger than the other. And even worse…she’s not wearing a bra. Every baby boomer woman I know - who hasn’t had her tits done and isn’t still living in hippie-land - wears a bra and wouldn’t dream of going out without one so why show underwear modelled on a braless body? Doh! It’s not what we do!

I want to see divine clothing modelled on people MY age AND I want the models to look normal! Can we please see clothing on different sized and aged women – skinny AND larger forty-five AND over? I want to see what a vest looks like with a bra under it because even though my body is lithe, healthy and fit and do a lot of yoga,eat 60% raw food and drink alkalising green drinks [check out my website for the amazing alkalising green drinks that helped me lose 18lbs! ] my tits are real so they don't hold up on their own as well as they used to!

I don’t see clothing for twenty somethings modelled by fifty year olds so I don’t expect to see clothing for my age group modelled by someone who’s half my age.

At least Saga, which appears to be the only UK magazine that caters for intelligent vital fifty plus people has respect for their readers. They use older models and some of them even have grey hair. But Saga isn't for everyone.. I think there's room for a new magazine that gets who we are!

I love the US based magazine 'More' which features models aged from forty to fifty plus and articles like 'Over-40 style guide' and 'Why 40+women rule Hollywood... finally! Sadly 'More' is only available in the States and there's nothing that compares to it here in the UK? Isn't it enough that I'm doing my bit to help men and women over fifty juice themselves up and have a life again??? Do I have to start a magazine too???

What I want to see is a hot, sexy, intelligent UK magazine for the 45+ intelligent, youthful, freedom loving baby boomers - please!

I know there's someone out there who wants to start a magazine that is designed for us to give us what we want. A magazine by people over forty five FOR people over forty five. And I'm sending that thought out into the universe with a full on rocket sized desire!

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And here's one final [for now] item for the 'respect us or lose us' wish list. Use bigger typefaces! If you’re aiming a site at a group of people, it’s quite useful to know a bit about them. And the fact is that most people in their mid to late forties and over who had normal near 20/20 vision, need reading glasses to read small type. AND we don't like having to put them on to ready everything that's out there.

So if by some miracle I find a site that is in a typeface I can read... I get excited... I feel cared for. I say to myself ‘these people are thinking of me’…it’s like seeing the chocolate on the pillow in a hotel or encountering the smiling doorman who uses your name or the check-out girl who remembers you probably won’t want a plastic bag because you like to do your thing for the environment... and who also remembers that your memory does have lapses and that you might sometimes forget your hemp bag and need to use the plastic!

Top of my fifty-friendly list this week is the Italian restaurant in Hertfordshire [I'll publish details in a later blog] who get that their most valued clients are in their mid forties to over fifty. They give away a credit card size magnifier cleverly printed with the restaurants contact details. These guys know who puts olive oil on their ciabatta and they treat them with the respect they're due!

And if they offered a large print menu as well as the magnifier then I’d love them even more and talking of food...

Find out how I lost 18 lbs - by changing the way I eat and drink...

Join my campaign to make the world more fifty-friendly!

Are you fifty-friendly? Do you know a service or organisation who is?I'd like to sing their praises from the rooftops of my far reaching blog.

Add a comment and post a link. Do you know someone who serves our age group and like the fifty plus clothing company doesn't tailor their stuff to us in the best possible way? Let's begin to expose them and hopefully encourage them to tailor to us or lose us!

Be fabulous, Be fun, Be fit and enjoy your Freedom...Fifty is the new Youth!

peta - 54 and three quarters ;-)