It was a time of easy and very loose living.. but those deliciously lurid and hilarious details are being stockpiled in cellar of memories.. for my autobiography
I like to think of those times as the '‘decade of extreme decadence'.’ Carol and I drifted apart when I went to live in Portugal with the brilliant but alcoholic bass guitarist from T Rex - He died, I returned to the UK and last saw Carol at her wedding in the late 80'’s. But 3 years ago we discovered by chance that we were living close by.
And we started to hang out again, short emails here, the odd lunch in the pub, And boy did we rock! It was like we were 20 again. One of the things I love about Carol is her icy wit and sharp repartee..and when we get together we spend time looking back on all the wicked things we did and laughing till our bellies ached..it sets us up for a positive discussion about all the great things that are waiting for us NOW
But sometimes people look back for reasons other than to remember the best times!!!
Sometimes people spend far too much time looking back and yearning for all that was not and can'’t ever hope to be and what was and is no more and THAT'’S DOWNRIGHT DANGEROUS!!!
It'’s very different from remembering all the good times and re-experiencing those moments of joy, excitement, awe, delight, sheer terror, anticipation, achievement, risks as well as petranquility and tranquillity... and really having a full on embodied experience of how good you feel because when you're like that it's simply delicious and as a Doctor of Philosophy via the School of Life.. I prescribe it to everyone...
Look back, laugh, feel the best of the best times and then get your ass on back to now! Peta
It's so much more fun and healthier and positive than looking back and missing, longing, yearning for, wishing if only, kicking yourself for missed opportunities. THAT SUCKS!
And if you do start to notice un-useful patterns... be nice to yourself and instead of beating yourself up simply say 'okay- I just did that.. I get it..' and let it go. Simple awareness is the first step to dissolving not so useful patterns... and I'’ll talk more in later blogs about how our patterns of the past can act as brakes and how we can turn them into accelerators..
What quite a few people haven't got YET is that the past doesn't exist, can'’t be changed is no more... [it reminds me of the Monty Python parrot sketch. This is parrot is dead, snuffed, gone from this world...' ] There ain'’t no Tardis [Dr Who'’s time machine] to take us back and rearrange time and even if you could.. watch The Butterfly Effect and you'll get how trying to control life's events will always lead to results other than the one'’s you tried to engineer.
If only I'’d...
John was 46, single and a client of mine. He'’d come to see me in the hopes of meeting someone...and as usual when I started to work with John his limiting patterns spilled all over the place.. one of his if only moans was how he wished he'’d gone to university instead of doing accountancy.
I told him.. "you know John, you might have been at uni, met a hot babe and on a way to a date with her been knocked down by a bus and snuffed. You can't predict what would have happened.. so why even waste time.. when there's so much to be doing..."
I had to refocus John to how he is when he'’s at his best.. and get him to look forward to the future and the potential... I call it 'attitude re-education'
Personal Empowerment Coaching with Peta - using the MythoSelf-tm process Click here to find out how I can help you move through this stage of your life and find love with someone new or with the one you'’re with. '‘Peta taught me to flirt with life'– Pam Francis - screenplay writer
It takes time to refocus ourselves on what'’s possible cos it's not what we learned to do mostly...but it'’s absolutely vital for all of us to keep our sights on what can be as we move forward towards the second and most glorious stage of our lives... the one where we consolidate all that we'’ve learned and bring back our unique and rich treasures as an offering to the world that has nurtured us,,
You'’re on the greatest journey of all - start living it to the full now
If you'’re familiar with the Hero'’s Journey or even if you're not... I recommend reading this amazing book by the guy who discovered the themes of world mythology and mapped it onto our current way of living. My favourite book of all time Joseph Campbell'’s Reflections on the Art of Living - edited by Diane K Osbon.
But if you're not yet familiar with the hero's journey and you'’ve seen Star Wars - or haven't yet I recommend you buy the trilogy and watch all 3 episodes for the first time or over again.. you'll have an experience of the heroic journey that runs thru all life.
Fact was George Lucas was screwed. He had this great idea for a film and couldn't piece it together. Then he heard about Joseph Campbell - read his book Hero with a Thousand Faces and hired Campbell as a consultant. Result... one of the all time great movies. Why? Because the structure is the structure of how life works. It's familiar to all of us.. but more of that in a later blog.
Understanding how the structure of the heroic journey maps onto your life will make sense of everything that'’s happened to you so far and will give you a real feeling of hope and excitement about the future...
If you'’re in your late forties, fifty and beyond.. and you'’re getting yearnings or feelings of not having accomplished it all...and you're sensing fluctuations and churnings it's not surprising. There is both a biological and a social change going on in you... and you can relax...becausethis is GREAT NEWS!
Pay attention to those yearnings and rumblings and churnings.. and instead of wishing they weren't recognise them as a sign that you are making your way through another door of changeÂ…to a wonderful world..
In case you haven'’t got it yet.. what we experience at this stage of our life is parallel to going through being a teen again... sometimes we can make it just as painful.. BUT we've got one great advantage... which should make it much easier for us when we get it...Unlike our kids, we'’re coming through this change with years of accumulated experience and wisdom even if we haven'’t accessed it all yet...better believe it.. it's all there waiting to be utilised!!!
Until the age of 20ish.. a child'’s brain hasn't fully formed.. The frontal lobes that are able to extend your awareness to future considerations are immature .They can'’t see a way out WE fifties and upcoming fifties have a fully formed set of frontals which means we can go through the experience with an eye to the future...and lots of hope and positive expectation..
And if it seems chaotic at times.. it's OK... sometimes it's good to do nothing...to sit and let it emerge... to relax and let go of knowing how it will turn out.. You've lived long enough to know for sure that you have to be prepared for anything to happen..... life doesn't always check with our plans before it happens
Now is the time for you...to consider who you are...to tune into and resonate with yourself... alongside your awareness that you are part of a family, an organisation, a neighbourhood all communities and that now is the time for you to take your place as an elder of the tribe..group, community...because you have much to offer to heal this modern day world.
Native American tribes do not believe a person is fully mature until they reach the age of fifty. I LIKE this concept...it fits for me.. how about you!!
I'’m going to be guiding people through the journey on the passage into the second part of your life...Gail Sheehy calls women over fifty 'seasoned women'. Her book Sex and the Seasoned Woman is a great read for seasoned women and for seasoned men who want to understand older women!
Because men approaching and into their fifties are as nicely spiced and seasoned as we ladies. We'’re all seasoned beings.. richly ripe, full of flavour, resourceful lywise...and active and healthy..and reaching the age of fifty is significant - we are past the halfway mark...we are ready to accelerate and get going to begin again...
Find out by clicking here how to have exquisite relationships whether you are single or married… learn the real secrets of creating harmony in every relationship you enter into with Peta in an intimate workshop inThis blog is about you and I ... 'the new youth' no longer the rash teenager, or the thrive and strive career seeker..but a softer mellower seasoned adult. It's about new beginnings, about emerging into the last part of your life with a sense of rich potential.. because now is the time for the seasoned ones to come into their own...
If you'’re excited about the enormous possibilities that exist for people when they realise their age is a great asset....I'’ll look forward to conversing here with you and please feel free to leave your comments...
smiles
peta
To find the links to the books I recommended by Joseph Campbell, Gail Sheehy and Star Wars the Trilogy go here...
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 License.
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